A Wrong Decision

I had every intention of going to my son's track meet today. The plan was for my husband to pick up our son at school at 1:15 and, since he didn't know if he would need to go back to work or not, I would leave work at 2:30, come home, and pick up Jack to take him to his meet. That was the plan, or at least I thought it was, until I was getting ready to leave work and saw on Life360 that both my husband and son were already at the meet.

Even so, I still planned on going. I just had to run home first to pick up layers of warm clothing to protect me from the dip in temperature that would occur before Jack's second race. It was only once I had walked into the empty house that I started to have second thoughts. The solitude was so welcoming, especially after a week that seemed like it would never end, as the weeks before breaks often do. Maybe I could sit this race out.

Mother's guilt set in, of course. I texted my husband, hoping he would assuage the guilt.

You can stay home if you want to. I know it's been a long week for you, came his reply, followed immediately by, And there's wine in the fridge but none here.

I am blessed to be married to a man who gets me. I still wavered, though. I should go; there was no good reason not to.

Another text from my husband appeared a few minutes later: There is one bathroom open and I overheard someone say [the] wait is 45 minutes and they ran out of toilet paper.

That clinched it for me. I decided to stay home. 

As it turns out, it was the wrong decision. I thought I would revel in the opportunity to unwind from the day and get in some uninterrupted writing time. Yet, as I sit here, trying to write my ending, I realize that I can't write it because I chose the wrong one. Instead of a quiet evening to myself, I should be spending it surrounded by the noise and excitement of young athletes pushing past their limits to outperform themselves. I should be chatting with my husband as we shiver in the stands and wait to yell ourselves hoarse every time our son runs by. I know there will be other races in the weeks ahead, but I needlessly missed this one, and that is something truly regrettable.