Have you ever felt pretty sure you knew what was what and told yourself you were okay with it? Then, you got confirmation and you felt yourself completely flattened by it? Like, you knew in your heart what was coming, yet you feel caught off guard when the moment actually arrives?
That was my experience today. My team was informed on Monday that we were losing a third grade class next year, so one of us would be involuntarily transferred. Everyone else has been there longer than me, so I knew it would be me. I told myself that I was okay with that. And I was.
Until today.
Today confirmation was delivered. After twenty years I am being forced out.
It hit me harder than I expected.
Tomorrow, I will begin to contemplate all the possibilities that lie before me. Tonight, I thought I'd allow myself a minute to grieve and worry about what comes next.
"Is it okay if I'm just depressed and feel sorry for myself tonight?" I asked my husband and son.
"Of course," my husband replied.
My son came over and rubbed my back, a look of concern in his eyes. "Remember, we have Lucky Charms'" he said. "They're magically delicious!"
I laughed.
"They didn't work for Mom; she still lost her job," my husband added.
I laughed even more.
Who can stay depressed when surrounded by such wit?
Ugh, what a difficult transition. I love how you wove dialogue into this slice, because it really showcases the sweetness of your family. I hope the changes coming your way bring good things out of difficulty.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteSo glad you are surrounded by people who love you and make you laugh tonight! I know the perfect opportunity will present itself, it's just a matter of waiting out that in-between time! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteSending you big hugs on a hard night - but a night when you also remembered you are loved by the most important folks. And YES - it is both ok to be sad AND eat Lucky Charms :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa.
DeleteOh Amanda. . . what a day. I feel your sorrow, your sadness and your grief. Twenty years is a long time. Let yourself be sad - you should! And, then, when and only you are ready, start looking for the opportunities this affords you. Small cracks in windows will open and you'll see possibilities that weren't there before. Just follow the bread crumbs. But, right now, cry. Those tears are healing.
ReplyDeleteI think in the end this will prove to be a good thing, leading to opportunities, as you said, that I would not have otherwise considered.
DeleteYou are very loved. I will be thinking of you and praying for your new adventures! Hugs to you and your teacher’s heart!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Good to hear from you. I hope you are doing well!
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