Friday, March 1, 2019

Returning

It's been so long, too long, since I've written. Returning to my blog feels like walking into a house once loved but long since abandoned. With great trepidation, I unlock the door and go inside.  My footsteps echo in the hollow emptiness as I feel my way across the room. In my heart, I know I am trespassing. I don't belong. In my long absence, I have lost the right to be here.

And yet. . .

If I stand perfectly still, memories like a faint but familiar perfume drift through the air. The music of laughter and tears, of love and anger, of thoughts and words, warble softly as though being played on an ancient victrola unseen in some dark corner of the room. 

Slowly, it all begins to come back to me. The hours spent inside these walls, sheltered from a world that sometimes seems so much more than I can take. The searching for words to make meaning of it all. The frustration when I failed and the triumph when I succeeded. It was here that I found some semblance of peace and the strength to face that uncertain world.

It occurs to me that my feeling of being a stranger here is not the result of my having been banished. It was I who simply wandered away. And this house, this beautiful, empty house, has stood waiting patiently for me to return, to fill it once again with the noise of daily living.

Feeling braver, I switch on the light and look around. It all seems so familiar. And welcoming. I am not a stranger here. I am home. This is where I belong. 

It will take a lot of effort to fill this house up again. There will be days ahead, I am sure, when I won't feel I am up to the task. Today, however, is not one of those days, so I survey what lies before me and roll up my sleeves.

Time to get to work.



6 comments:

  1. Fantastic metaphor for that feeling and experience that I would imagine many of us can relate to of returning to writing after a hiatus. I pulled out my writer's notebook the other day and realized I haven't written in it since December. It feels strange and uncomfortable to get back to it, even though I want to. I always love your writing, so I'm excited you're blogging again and I'm looking forward to all of your slices!

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    1. Thank you, Elisabeth! I feels good to be back at it. I am looking forward to reading your slices, too. I always enjoy them! :)

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  2. How many times have I felt that first line? The metaphor of returning to a familiar place is beautiful. I love how you took what could have been despair (why has it been so long since I've written) and imbue it with love and peace and joy. It's such a positive, nostalgic way to view your return.
    Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you, Eric! I appreciate the positive comments.

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  3. YES! I needed your post today! As the other two comments relate, you are definitely not alone. You captured the nervous trepidation I think many of us are feeling as we dust off our blogging shelves and warm up our fingers. Great post!

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  4. Thank you! I hate to admit it, but it's good to know I'm not alone. :)

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