I feel terrible, even just typing the words. But those words have been circling around in my brain every since I accepted the invitation.
I don't want to go.
It wasn't like I didn't know the invitation was coming. There was that offhand remark made when she came to drop off the Girl Scout cookies I had bought from her daughter.
"We should get together for dinner and games some Sunday night," she said.
"Sure. That would be fun," I responded. I didn't really mean it, but what else was I going to say? There she was extending an offer of friendship. Who was I to shoot it down? Besides, people say things like that all the time and fail to follow through.
Then the text came. We didn't have plans, no valid excuse to say "Sorry, would love to, but we can't." There was nothing to do but accept.
But this is sooooo not my thing. A friend posted on Facebook yesterday "6 Things Introverts Hate." Every single one of them - crowds, talking on the phone, noise, social gatherings, being told "you're too quiet", small talk- described me perfectly. Yet, here I am now gearing up for an evening filled with noise and small talk at a social gathering of people I don't know well. That's pretty much the definition of hell for me.
So, why am I going, you might ask. The answer is pretty simple. I am going for my son. The woman who invited us is the mother of one of his friends. He has had several play dates at her house, something I've never been good at setting up (see the list above), and they seem like a nice family. My son enjoys spending time with his friend and seeing his face light up when I told him we were having dinner with Michael's family made all the anxiety worthwhile.
I don't want to go. But I will.
Two hours of extreme discomfort seems like a small sacrifice for my son's happiness. And who knows? Maybe I'll surprise myself and have a good time.
You contrast your fears with hope in the last line. I hope this line carries you into and through the experience.
ReplyDeleteIt did, and I was pleasantly surprised how the evening turned out.
DeleteI totally understand this feeling. But sometimes, when I have it, I end up being pleasantly surprised. I hope it ends up better than you think. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! It did!
DeleteOh, I hope we get a sequel. As an extravert who loves game nights, I would love to experience the evening from your perspective. You write very clearly and honestly.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I did end up writing about it for today's post. :)
DeleteYour last paragraph sums it all up. I hope you have fun!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteAs a fellow introvert, I can totally relate to this post. You describe the pre-evening anxiety so well that I'm feeling it as I sit here on my couch. Even if it's only for your son that you said yes, I hope you end up enjoying the evening. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI find that it's the anticipation that's the worst part. The event itself usually isn't as bad as I think it's going to be. Such was the case last night.
DeleteI hope you found some fun. Like you, I really don't like doing things like this, especially with people I don't know well, be we do it for those we love. And sometimes it works out for the best,
ReplyDeleteIt's probably a good thing that my children often force me out of my comfort zone!
DeleteI can totally relate to everything you are saying. I've had to force myself to do things at times, only to be pleasantly surprised by the fun I had. Hopefully your evening turned out well! :-) ~JudyK
ReplyDeleteThanks! It turned out better than I thought it would. :)
DeleteI used to be like you, hated gatherings with people I didn't know well, could never think of what to say to people. I hope you had a better time than you expected. And it's okay to just sit in a corner watching people, listening to conversation, and thinking about how to write about it all afterwards.
ReplyDeleteThe talkers need someone to listen to them, right? :)
DeleteI've always been like you, introvert through and through. I smiled in recognition when I read, ""Sure. That would be fun," I responded. I didn't really mean it, but what else was I going to say?"
ReplyDeleteI do have a few regrets, I wish I'd reached out a little more. So I'm impressed that you did it for your son. I'm sure you came home tired and ready for your time alone. I hope you got it.
I often think that I need to expand my social network, but when things like this come up, I am filled with dread, not excitement. Fortunately, it was only for a couple of hours, so not too overwhelming. My couch and Netflix were there to comfort me when I got home. :)
DeleteI could also relate to this post. I always like the idea of these kinds of things, but when it's time to actually do it, I usually want to stay home.
ReplyDeleteYes, it always sounds wonderful until the reality sets in. Fortunately, the evening turned out to be not too bad. :)
Delete