Saturday, March 25, 2023

An Experiment Pays Off

This is the eighth Slice of Life Story Challenge I have participated in. The first one was a bit of a lark. I didn't have a blog and had to set one up, which I did on my husband's Gmail account. Had I known that I would keep writing, I would have set up my own account, but I never anticipated that I would still be at it eight years later.

It's not a perfect streak, however. Last year, I skipped the challenge. At that time I said it was due to the demands of a new job and taking an online class. Those were valid reasons, but I don't think they were entirely honest. Looking back, I think I was broken.

The pandemic took its toll on everyone, but I've come to realize that there was a lot more baggage I was already carrying around with me. My mom's death in 2019 and the stress of the year leading up to it was something I hadn't completely dealt with when the world shut down. Then, despite working hard to be the teacher my students and their parents needed when we returned, I was laid off and had to move to another school after twenty years at my previous one. Transitioning from elementary to middle school proved to be more difficult than I had expected. By the time March of 2022 rolled around, I felt there was nothing left to give and certainly nothing left to say.

This month has been a bit of an experiment. Not only did I sign up for this challenge, but I also signed up for a fitness challenge at work. This has resulted in daily writing, daily exercise, and doubling my consumption of water. The outcome of this experiment? I've been feeling much happier and energetic than I have in a very long time.

Which leads me to consider several ideas, the first one being, why do we seem to avoid the things that will make us feel better when we sink into a pit of misery? I'm not stupid. I know that exercise is a mood booster and I know that, for me, writing is, too. So why did I choose to sit on the couch watching inane television and drinking wine? It didn't help, I knew it wouldn't, but I did it anyway, hoping that time would heal without my having to put any effort into it., I suppose. The only problem was, my solution was actually making things worse.

The second thought that has been gnawing away at me is how there is no single right answer to most problems people face. Everyone wants an easy fix, and you will read blog posts and articles claiming that they have the answer, but there really isn't a magic bullet. It takes work and usually more than one tactic. I'm pretty sure that merely drinking more water would have done nothing more than make me have to use the bathroom more frequently. Putting all three things into play, however, made a significant impact. I'll be honest and admit there are other factors that could account for my more positive mood these days. My husband's new job that makes him happy, my fantastic co-workers, and my planned early exit from teaching contribute to my improved outlook on life. Sunshine and spring break don't hurt either. So, I'm not going to tell you that what has worked for me will work for you. What will work for you, that is for you to decide. 

I'm also not going to mislead anyone into thinking I am just a constant ray of sunshine now. (Those who know me in real life will attest to this fact.) I still have moments when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, but there are equal moments of lightness now. What I have learned is that taking care of yourself, really taking care of yourself, isn't a luxury that can be put off when life gets too chaotic. In fact, when you don't have time to take care of yourself is exactly when you can't afford not to.







4 comments:

  1. Amanda, what an honest and reflective post, well-written, provocative, and your message at the end is so very true: "...when you don't have time to take care of yourself is exactly when you can't afford not to." I'm not saying I've ever been able to do it--those times of overwhelming stress are the times I've neglected myself. Thank you for your words. They are very powerful.

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    1. Thank you, Denise. I clearly haven't been good at doing the right things for myself. That's why I am so grateful for the challenges this month that have pushed me to do what I need to take care of myself.

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  2. Yes to all of this! I hadn't really thought about the importance of multiple strands of self-care, but I think that's really wise and insightful. And I wonder a lot about why it's so difficult to do the things that make us feel better when we know exactly what they are. I will periodically go through a phase of reading a bunch of self-care articles, which is fine but I already know what they're going to say and what I should be doing! Thanks for these thought-provoking words today!

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    1. Right?? We know what we should be doing, but in our most vulnerable moments it seems to take too much effort to do them. Then, we get caught in a vicious circle that it is all the more difficult to escape.

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